Attachment

There are some concepts that loom so large in me that I feel as though I may end up spending my entire life trying to even obtain a healthy relationship with them.

My relationship to attachment often takes on the feel of a Final Boss. And even though I know I have claimed some solid victories here, I know that there is more clarity to come and I continue to work with the subject.

It is not yet clear to me what precipitates attachment, but I am very aware of my desire for certain outcomes. I am happy to say that it has lessened over time, but it does have the texture of one of those areas where I fall back into patterns without meticulous attention being paid to the space.

Today I will only focus on the first component as I see it. Attachment to outcome.

Attachment to outcome is deeply affecting from a number of perspectives. If we start at the end and work backwards I hope that there may be a number of new clarities that are open to you when you are ready to receive them. As a reminder, if you would like to discuss any concept further you can reach me through a number of mediums, most notably instagram and maxheartdepth@gmail.com.

If we don’t achieve that which we set out to, there are a number of affectations. We typically feel a sense of failure at a minimum and it can include textures of shame, scarcity and feelings of unworthiness or lack of love. While, we should seek to sit with any emotion and welcome it, regardless of whether we or society deems that feeling as negative, it is still nonetheless likely to put us in a state of closure and put energy in our heads to try to make ourselves feel better.

My guess is that everything I have written until now is pretty obvious. And this part might be obvious too. By seeking an outcome in a situation, we aren’t going to be as present or enjoying the situation as much, given the pressure. This leads to a bit of manifestation whereby our energy being dispersed and focused on a future event inherently leads to a greater chance of not achieving the thing we are seeking. Athletes and artists speak of being in the zone or in flow but another way to think of it is just being in a state of relaxation and just letting life unfold in front of you. My current experience of this is that while it can be faked to a degree, it also has to come from a natural state of relaxation and free of triggering.

So that leads me to the most important thing I think about currently with respect to attachment. If we are desiring a certain outcome then it is because of a pattern or habit we have developed during our life and are inherently in a state of scarcity and closure. We don’t feel the magnetism of needing something unless we feel (consciously or subconsciously) the lack to begin with. And to be clear there is absolutely nothing wrong with these states. They are merely parts of a larger drama playing out in all of our lives. But at each level of attachment, when we can honestly and compassionately check in with ourselves and ask why? Why am I upset I did not achieve my goal? why does it matter that I get this thing? why do I feel lacking? Each way can lead us towards a new understanding. One where we can welcome attachment as a teacher and one which gives us the opportunity to offer more love and consciousness to the world.